Zoe told me late at night, as we are laying there, "Boy S. told me that if I didn't bring X to school, he'd break my pinkie" She said it happend to Madison too. (I never did understand what X was, but I think it was food/candy related). I told her I would talk to him and his parents in the morning.
In the morning, right as we were loading up.. Zoe stroked her finger and told me again.. I started to get freaked out.. I was already on edge for other events in the morning.. I told Zoe how to kick a boy in the crotch. I told her she was not powerless and to use it only as a defensive move, if she ever felt in danger. I did caution her that it was a last result and it was better to walk away or seek and adult. However, we should live in fear and told her she was not powerless.
When we got to school.. I looked for Boy S.. asked another Mom who he was (because I didn't yet know), but didn't find them.. So I told Mme. Anderson. She said she'd get to the bottom of it.
Never one to leave things alone, I emailed the parents a note about their bullying son. About 1 hour later I got a phone call from the principal during class. I called him back and he said he had Zoe in his office that morning. He asked her what happend between Spencer and her and she said that in the cloak room Madison asked Boy S. to show his penis. Okay, not the story we expected.. He finally asked directly about he pinkie incident and Zoe said, "oh that" and described what she told me. Madison recounted a similar story, but Zoe was the one who asked Boy S. Both of the girls now can't remember who actually said it.. and then will point fingers the opposite way.
In the end, Boy S.'s parents wanted to meet with me.. in the end to berate me for the tone of my email. I swallowed my embarrassment apologized, and took it graciously when they said their son was in error and they would have a talk with him about language.
So I have learned, I don't deal directly with other irrational parents, I'm supposed to go thru the teacher or principal.. as well as I need to spend more time drilling my kid about when/how these events started.
ah, the joys of being in 1rst grade versus being a parent...
