Parenting

Nothing like a trip to see the family to make you think about your parenting.  I feel like my philosophy is at a mismatch  of my upbringing, but that is what it is. Part of it is me, part of it is knowing my kids, part of it is that parenting by fear and intimidation or corporal punishment is not necessary or in vogue. My job is to love my kids and nurture them unconditionally.  Next I provide for them: food shelter clothes things education.  Up to this point, my childhood and my parenting are the same.. I am lucky... My parents are great parents. The place where I feel I differ the most is that I expect my children, even at 2 and 4, to think for themselves... And that may include them questioning and reasoning with my decisions. For example, I let Zoe pick out her clothes... I may question if she will be warm enough but In the end it is her choice and I gave up battling that particular battle long ago... I will separate out extra things to bring with her... I provide for her.. But  I am not raising a robot.  My children are not here to be seen and not heard. Sometimes I ask Zoe to do something.. Like stop working on art and go pick up her room... If she says to me..  Can I finish this drawing first, it is important to me...(that is our key phrase)... I would definitely say yes... I do not expect her to respond to me like I am her drill sergeant.  I do not expect her to always listen and do what she is told.  In fact because she is her father's daughter I often have to remember that her focus is like a laser. It is not easy to interrupt either of them if they are focused. Additionally she is 4.
The hardest part of being around other parents is that I know what is age appropriate and event appropriate actions from my kids... And not everyone else does....