life is not fair

Life is not fair.. I know that... but sometimes, can't a mommy just want a little self-care selfishness? For once, I tried to sleep in.. I woke up at 5, got out of bed yesterday at 6:20 with both kids.. other mornings have been more reasonable.. 7. Once or twice a month I get until 8.. but this morning at 7am when I really wanted it Zoe would not have it. Bruce got out of bed, told the kids he take them to "toons".. but neither of them went willing.. for 10 minutes they crawled and whined all over me.. Z: "I want a snuggle" F: "Up-ee" At some point he got them out of the bedroom for Zoe to come running in, throwing open the door, turning on the light and yelling, "I need snuggles". I think this is just the last straw on top of my reading self help books that tell you to make time for you.. but as a mom, it is virtually impossible without a support structure and its become obvious that my support structure is not in this house. I need hire someone to be my early morning support team, to actually physically remove the children and distract them. If I want to get any exercise or throw some pots, I need to hire someone to watch the kids... its just not happening. Then apathy and lack of time sets in and I'm sure I'll just go back to not doing anything but taking care of the family. At least come September I can try to get exercise taking Zoe to school in on the bike... May I find the strength to do that every day. Off to change stinky diaper, find breakfast, get kids dressed, packed for their day.. all while I hear the whirl of the exercise bike I should be on.